Page 7.
This past two weeks, I have had a completely different look on life. More specifically, who I am and who I surround myself around. I don’t ever think I’ll understand people and how they treat me even though I make sure I’m always nice to people because you never know what they’re going through. But now I’m realizing I can’t control it. The way they treat me might be out of pure jealousy, but that doesn’t mean I change the way I am just to conform to someone they will like. And also, I’m in high school. I probably won’t ever talk to the people I go to school with now next year, because I’m changing schools. Honestly, I’m so glad that I am changing school. It gives me a chance to really see if everyone is like the people I’ve been wasting my time with. I honestly have no one who I would want to continue a friendship with outside of that school, and I might hurt some feelings. But what permanent good have they done for me? None. But this isn’t about them, and that’s what I’m truly understanding. My life is about me, not trying to make others happy. I hate when people my age give me advice, and it probably shows. Because I never listen to them. Anyone my age has not gone through more than me that they feel like they know how to handle a problem. That’s why I don’t give permanent advice, because I really don’t know it all. It might be me just being selfish, but I’m done listening to the petty stuff at my school. I’m concerned about my future in the arts and I can’t let this stuff cloud my mind. So fuck the rumors, and all the bullshit. Because I’m done with it. So I apologize if I say I don’t care about what someone says about you, because if YOU truly “didn’t give a fuck”, you wouldn’t be talking about it. At all. You would get on with your life. But I guess no one there can do that, because they’re stuck in the life of bullshit. Maybe this is me just growing up too fast. But I’d rather grow up too fast and realize what I need to be doing with my life, than stay on the same level as these teenagers and waste their life away. Now I’m all about having stupid fun, making mistakes, and forgetting what I did the night before. But in the end, no matter what anyone says, it all comes down to what you make of yourself in society. And as much as people will hate to hear this, society does play a huge effect on everyone’s life. The people who are trying not to conform to society and try to be “original” are just creating a new society that doesn’t accept anyone who does not fit their standards(i.e. the people of today’s society). So the cycle never stops, everyone thinks someone doesn’t belong. But that’s the problem. Get the fuck over how people live their life. If you don’t like it, remove yourself. Not literally, I just mean separate yourself from them. But don’t hate them, or judge them for it. Because they are just a tiny factor of your life. It is all about you. No one else. And for me, that’s all that matters. Hurting people in the process….well you’re just going to have to grow up and be strong enough to handle what I throw at you.
2/12/2012 Taylor Danielle xo
